Personalize Your Wedding With Customs and Traditions

By Maita Henson Miyake, Owner of Simply Marvelous Weddings and Events

No two weddings are ever alike! From color and cuisine, to religion, music, jewelry, flowers, fabrics, rituals and vows, each is influenced by customs and traditions, either borrowed from specific ethnic cultures or created within the family and passed down through generations.

In America, the great Melting Pot, ethnic weddings abound. Although traditional American weddings favor a long white gown for the bride and a honeymoon paid for by the groom’s parents, marrying couples may choose to blend their own ethnic influences to create a more individualized wedding celebration.

While some cultural traditions favor simplicity over extravagance, in many societies, money dictates the level of luxury the marrying couple will enjoy. And each celebration has its own icons for love, purity, commitment, fertility, prosperity, health, and more.

The day a couple exchanges vows is a magnificent moment replete with ceremonial splendor! When planning your wedding rituals and festivities, borrow from Old World traditions to customize your special day.

Mexican

• Lasso – A rosary or white ribbon is wrapped around the couples’ necks to symbolically represent their union
• Thirteen Gold Coins – The groom traditionally presents this gift to the bride after they have been blessed by the priest
• Guests toss red beads on the bride and groom as they exit the church
• The first dance at the reception is celebrated by all guests holding hands and forming the shape of a heart, with the bride and groom in the center
• Piñata – Popular at many wedding receptions, this paper maché heart or animal shaped container is filled with candy and hung from the ceiling. Later in the celebration children swing a bat and try to break open the piñata.

Filipino

• Bride wears the traditional all-white wedding gown and the groom wears the traditional barong, a transparent button-up shirt worn by Filipino men during special occasions
• In honor of their Catholic heritage and respect of the solemn occasion, the Bride holds an heirloom rosary with the bouquet during the Nuptial Mass.
• Sponsors are present to witness the union of the couple. The sponsors symbolize guidance and support - a group of individuals that the couple can refer to in time of need.
• While some of these sponsors have a "silent" participation during the wedding ceremony, three sets of sponsors play active roles to assist in the wedding candle, veil and cord ceremonies held during the Nuptial Mass. Such sponsors are more commonly know as “secondary sponsors”.
• Some couples incorporate a “money dance” at the reception where guests pin bills on either the Bride and Groom in return for a chance to dance with them.

Jewish

• Wedding day cannot take place on the Sabbath, unless after sunset
• Both sets of parents escort bride and groom down the aisle
• Yamulkes (small white caps) are worn by all Jewish male wedding attendants, including the rabbi and groom
• Huppah – Canopy under which the bride and groom recite their vows as a substitute for the altar
• At the reception, the groom crushes a piece of cloth-covered glass with his shoed foot to indicate life’s delicacy
• Hora – Dance performed at reception while the bride and groom are lifted in tall-backed chairs high above the crowd’s heads and share either end of a handkerchief

Irish

• Bride’s wedding ring is the “Claddagh”, two hands holding a heart with a crown. The direction of the hands as worn on the woman’s ring finger indicate her marital status
• Bride’s wedding gown is traditionally blue with hair worn in long braids
• Traditionally, the bride and groom walk to the church and exchange wedding vows
• Irish jigs during reception include a dance that carries the groom over the wedding guests

Greek

• Engagement begins with the exchange of rings in front of friends and family
• Ceremony normally takes place on Sunday
• Starting the Leaven – On the Wednesday prior to the wedding day, a boy and girl sieve flour while onlookers throw coins of good luck
• Filling the Sacks – On the Friday prior to the wedding day, the bride’s mother places a copper pan in a sack to which the bride adds her personal possessions
• Wedding procession begins at the bride’s home indicated by the raising of a red flag
• Kalamantiano – Traditional Greek dance performed at reception
• Wedding rings are worn on right hands
• Vows are not exchanged
• After the ceremony, the bride throws a piece of iron onto the groom’s house while the red flag is once again raised

Italian

• After the ceremony, the bride and groom together saw apart a log, normally located in the village center, to indicate the hard work they are willing to contribute during their married lives
• Tarantella – Traditional Italian dance performed at reception
• "evviva gli sposi" – Translated as, “hurray for the newlyweds”, often shouted during the reception causing a great deal of excitement

Chinese

• Bride wears red wedding dress, either one-pieced or two, with phoenix-crown headdress and red veil, carrying orchids
• Groom wears black silk coat over dark blue dragon robe, black hat, and red tassels
• Firecrackers are used when the bride arrives to scare off evildoers
• Vows are exchanged on an altar decorated with red candles, roast pigs, and fowl. Sipping wine from cups tied together with red string while crossing arms, the bride and groom state their intentions
• Sweet tea is served to each new relative

Korean

• Traditionally, men delivering gifts to the bride’s home on the eve of the wedding adorned blackened faces using squid’s ink; more recently, gifts are presented at restaurants and bearers spare no expense!
• Bride wears lime-green wonsam and “flower robe”, decorated with flowers and butterflies, with black cap, white socks, and embroidered shoes
• Yonji Konji – Large red circles are drawn on the bride’s face to ward off evil spirits
• Groom wears dark green damask with golden symbols and tall black silk cap
• Groom presents a live goose to the bride as a symbol of fidelity; recent traditions have used a wooden goose instead
• The bride and groom sip wine from separate cups and then, after wine has been mixed together, share and sip again

Hindu

• Bride normally wears a white and red sari, ornamented in gold, with optional flower headdress
• Groom also wears white with gold threads, including a loose, long-sleeved shirt that is not tucked in; Some grooms may wear a sarong with optional flower headdress
• Both bride and groom wear knee-length flower garlands made of roses and marigolds
• Mandap – Canopy under which wedding ceremony is held
• Metal pot filled with coins is used to shake in front of groom to keep him alert
• Kanyadaan – The couple’s feet are washed in milk and water for purification
• Hastamelap – “Joining of the Hands” – Bride and groom’s right hands are placed together while holy scripture verses are chanted
• Bride stands on stone to signify faithfulness in marriage
• Many other traditions consistent with Hindu culture

African-American

• Drums were traditionally an important part of the wedding ceremony
• Rituals that involve the forming of lines and then changing places are consistent with the style of the African-American wedding
• Jumping the Broom – A symbol of the bride’s willingness to assist with family duties, any variation of this theme where the couple jumps over a broom can be seen today
• Cowrie shells – Decorative accents found off the coast of West Africa, these are worn as bridal jewelry, fabric trimming, and headpiece ornamentation

Japanese

• Yunio – Ceremony that marks the sealing of the couple’s engagement with symbolic gifts presented in rice paper
• Bride wears all-white silk wedding kimono with hair worn up and veil-covered face painted creamy white
• Bride and groom take nine sips of sake, becoming husband and wife after the first sip
• Brocade wedding kimono, poetry reading, parents provide gifts for all guests, place setting ornaments at each place setting instead of centerpieces